Around, Up and Over
by We love us
Summary: Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle.
1. It's not fair!

Uh, I have no beta so expect this to be a mess of grammar since English isn't my native tongue. Besides this is just a story of what my mind wants me to write, if that makes sense.

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 1: _**_It's not fair!_

Jane Rizzoli was having a bad day—the fact that she received her period was more than she could handle. The cramps were intense, it felt as though a sledge hammer was pounding into her stomach between five minute intervals. But she continued on with work as though her menstruation wouldn't impede with her findings on a new murder.

"Jane, you look queasy, are you okay?" Frost asked, his brow cocked up in curiosity.

The dark-haired detective shot him a glare then winced as another cramp hit her. _Why don't guys ever get this damn pain? It's unfair to all females that guys don't suffer nearly as much as we do!_ "No, _Berry_," she said scathingly to her partner, "I am, in fact, not okay!" Her muscles felt bunched up, tense and a pain radiated from every fiber of her body when she moved.

Maura came in, unannounced as usual and handed manila files to Korsak. She shot a concerned look at Jane, who was close to being prostrate on the ground. She walked over to the tall female, worry washing over her as she observed the tight expression on her friend's face and the occasional flinch. She laid a hand on Jane's back, rubbing up and down soothingly.

"Jane, honey, how about you take the week off?" Maura suggested. Jane nodded gratefully, slowly standing up and making her way out of the homicide department at a snail's pace, that garnered some glances but Jane's glare put them off.

_Goddammit__, how are they to look at me like—with _pity_?_ Jane scowled, baring the pain—she wanted to have some dignity left since most of it shredded as she struggled to keep her strides even at the same average pace instead of moving like a snail. _Not that I'm gonna go home yet—I might as well browse around for suspicious shops._

She hadn't found one but it was nearing night before she saw "All Ye Wishes" in bold font. The front of the shop was filled with collectible antiques and showed shelves of weird-looking bottles. Jane decided first thing in the morning: she was coming here.

_**—Okay, I know it's short but it is definitely needed for the events I have planned in mind. I hope it is not going to be slaughter. Don't hate meh, umm….definitely going to be boy-parts involved in the future… D: I'll update the other fic soon. Just need to get this off my head. (: Enjoy?**_


	2. An Undesirable Choice

Uh, I have no beta so expect this to be a mess of grammar since English isn't my native tongue. Besides this is just a story of what my mind wants me to write, if that makes sense.

I'm going to take my time with this story since—first of all: it's not going to be mainly about smut, which comes after.

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer:**I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

_**Chapter 2: **__An Undesirable Choice_

Inside the shop was a deception from outside when you looked in, she really expected it to smell of musk and other variations of smells that related to the liquid captured in the bottles but it smelled of a sweet aroma, it was soothing. Jane glanced at the counter, seeing no one behind it and wondered who was foolish enough to leave the cashier unattended.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" She called out, hearing a faint echo of her voice before it became silent. It unnerved her as the silence ringed in her ears—this place was giving her chills. Goosebumps rose along her arms and legs with caution, Jane looked around still.

"This place feels like a damn booby trap." The detective muttered under her breath, taking equally deep breaths as she bared the pounding pain of her cramps. Her hand lay over her lower abdomen, pressing gently where she felt the natural process of letting go blood.

Upon taking a closer look at the delicate looking bottles, her curiosity rose along with the urge to test out the liquid in them. But she shook her head, trying to dispel the idea. As preposterous as it seemed because it looked like water, and—she was parched. And there was no one around, at least, not currently. Jane peeked over her shoulders, and then bowed her head before quickly grabbing a bottle and stuffing it in the inner pockets of her jacket. She didn't want to, but she couldn't help but wanting to taste it, to test it. It was probably harmless—since it looked so innocent.

(Though, that would turn out to be a mistake for not listening to her gut instincts.)

_I'm going to hell for stealing this, but damn, I just want to know—just a tiny bit of me wants to indulge besides no one will know._ Jane thought to herself, the doubt inside her began to disparate and she nodded to herself with determination.

Her cramps came back with a vengeance, ten times worse before as though speaking for the deed of stealing the bottle. Groaning, she relented to leaving forty dollars on the counter then swiftly left the shop, all too unaware to the eyes that glinted with mischief.

When she arrived home, the time was the first thing that caught her attention. Her brows raised in surprise as she saw the analog clock: 8:07PM it read.

She took off her jacket then grabbed the bottle, taking a closer look at the clear liquid inside and decided to save it for tonight. Jane promptly sat on the couch, turned on the T.V and relaxed—needing to stay still long enough for her cramps to not bring substantial amounts of discomfort. And then she sighed before getting up to drag her body to the bathroom to change her pad, coming out in ten minutes, feeling refreshed and fatigued.

Her bed was comfortable as she turned on her stomach, feeling much more restful in the position as it put light pressure to where her cramps were. Jane groaned into her pillow, hating that she had to move to test out the bottle. Her right arm supported most of her upper body weight as she reached to grab the little container of mysterious liquid and snapped the cap off. If drinking this would whet her appetite—to satiate her curiosity—she pulled the rim of the bottle to her lips, smelling nothing and tilted the bottle so the liquid drained down her throat.

Her tongue moved around restlessly, tasting nothing as her mind grew confused then irritated. Jane furrowed her brows, mildly disappointed that nothing had happened as her test was shot down. She rested the bottle on her night stand, and then situated herself on her stomach. A gentle ache of her eyelids prompted her to sleep.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Maura was concerned; her friend hadn't called her once since she had taken time off. And that alarming because Jane was not one to forget, _anything_ but she drew in a deep breath, calming her racing heart down. It was early morning, she sat alone in the kitchen, mindless of the sun and the faint chirps of birds outside—she was only focused on the fact that Jane didn't call her once. She didn't even leave a text message.

The medical examiner was conflicted with wanting to go to Jane's home and wanting her friend to call her whenever she had the spare time. But the nagging worry won out, Maura grabbed her purse then headed out, intent on finding the answer to her friend's mysterious absence.

It was twenty-seven minutes, precisely, when she got to Jane's apartment. Maura stood outside the door, mulling over going in or waiting for a sign that her friend had wakened. She shifted her weight on her other foot, still hesitating. _Just go for it—she hasn't minded before and you could just say that you were concerned._ Maura opened the door, immediately closing it when she was inside and looked around. Everything was replaced so why did she have a dreadful twist in her stomach?

She tip-toed to Jane's bedroom, peeking in when she saw that the door was open and gaped in surprise at the sight before her eyes. Her mind was blown as her eyes were full of doubt at what she was seeing—then shook her head. Her friend was sporting a tent underneath that blanket, and it made her wonder why Jane didn't tell her that—that she was hiding _that_.

_A penis, just wow—she has a penis?_ Maura sighed; she wondered if her friend was aware of it. Then out of polite kindness, she woke Jane up with a few shoves.

There were a few groans and incoherent mumbles, Jane's eyes opened slowly. Maura swallowed, "Jane—why didn't you tell me you had a penis?" Then she had wanted to inquire if her friend ever wanted to tell about her hidden secret. That is when her heart clenched, seized in her throat for a few minutes as she observed Jane, who still looked half-asleep.

Jane's hands moved around, clenching and un-clenching—probably to dispel of the ache in them. Her lithe body twisted a bit, catching Maura's attention to the tent under the blanket. The medical examiner swallowed—even though she was no stranger to male genitalia, it was another thing to see it on your friend. On her _best friend_ who still wasn't fully awake. Her really attractive friend that Maura didn't want to admit had starred in a few of her dreams.

"Jane, please tell me you're awake?"

"Five more…minutes, ma…" Jane mumbled, gathering the blankets to bunch up until it exposed flesh up to mid-thigh. Maura's gaze was fixated on the smooth, toned legs, knowing that a few more inches up would expose her friend…_completely_. And that thought made her pulse race, it made her body react to the pheromones in the air.

She sighed, hesitatingly exited Jane's room and into the living room where the T.V was still on. She waited for forty minutes before Jane's voice bellowed with explicit expletives. She winced, knowing her shock was tiny to the fear Jane—mostly likely—was experiencing now.

Maura headed back to the bedroom, feeling a genuine concern as she saw Jane hunched over, her shoulder shaking, and her hands in a clenching position. "Jane," she whispered to her friend, whose head shot up quickly. And Jane gave Maura a glimpse to the fear and other myriad of emotions in the soulful brown eyes. Her hand reached out to lie on Jane's shoulder, but was shrugged off hastily.

"Don't, Maura, please….don't be kind because I know you don't—" Jane's voice broke, laced with pain. "I-I can't believe this! Why me why? I didn't ask for this."

Maura swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling it descend slowly as she continued to watch her friend. "Jane, this doesn't change anything. You're still my friend, still the person I love—" She grasped Jane's hands within her own, feeling helpless as she witnessed the turmoil in Jane, who looked at her lap and the bulge poking at the blanket with disgust.

"Maura—this isn't a part of _me_! I don't even want to touch it." Jane said with disdain.

"But…?" Maura prodded, knowing Jane had something more to add, tightening her grip on Jane's hand with security, knowing that Jane was probably feeling insecure, scared and out of her wits about now.

"But, I have to go pee…" Jane's gaze looked at the ceiling, an obvious way to try and distract herself from the pressure in her bladder.

The medical examiner was confused, "Well, can't you go pee or…oh." Jane didn't want to control it, which meant touching it so holding her pee was an option—a less than desirable choice because she would risk a bladder infection. And Maura didn't want that to happen to her friend and said:

"I could aim it for you," then smiled gently, seeing Jane's face twist with contemplation and shock before shaking her head.

"I won't have you doing that, Maur."

"But I insist, Jane, please let me help this once." She pleaded, staring into coffee brown eyes beseechingly. "I won't bother you about it ever again. But releasing urine is a natural process, holding it could—"

Finally, Jane relented reluctantly with a sigh and a nod. Her gaze, serious and trusting that Maura was breathless at the concept that Jane trusted her with this simple task. An ordinary task that men go through with every day, but Jane was not a man, therefore, new to this aspect of life.

"Well—let's go to the bathroom." Maura led Jane before the toilet and lifted the lid up, watching with a nervous energy as Jane went to bring her briefs down. Her eyes widened as magnitudes of lust filled her before she mentally burned that idea—that image out of her mind and regained her composure. She moved behind Jane, her hand gripped the base of Jane's—very unwanted—penis and directed its aim at the toilet bowl.

"Just close your eyes and relax, okay, Jane? Do this for me," she whispered softly into Jane's ear, feeling a tremble run through her friend's body.

The next few minutes were spent in silence before Jane was making a steady stream of urine, her eyes closed as her head tilted back in relief. Maura shivered, careful to keep her grip loose—but not too loose. Then Jane opened her closed eyes, "That's okay, Maura. I'm done now."

Maura nodded and stepped away from Jane, who had covered herself with the briefs. _At least she's dealing well with her shock—_She thought then exited the bathroom to give Jane some peace to herself to recollect her thoughts before deciding to make them breakfast—especially after all that Jane went through.

**_—Well, I'll stop there. Hope you like it. (:_**


	3. Helping Jane

Uh, I have no beta so expect this to be a mess of grammar since English isn't my native tongue. Besides this is just a story of what my mind wants me to write, if that makes sense.  
I'm going to take my time with this story since—first of all: it's not going to be mainly about smut, which comes after.

Thanks for the reviews! :D Hope you like this chapter; even though it's slow…it's still an update. (: Note: I'm going to also take a break whenever…to read other stories since I can't sorely spend my time writing: P

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 3: _**_Helping Jane_

Though not an erection, it was still a noticeable bulge in her more-than-fitting briefs. Jane groaned, wondering how she was going to hide this part of her from others. Maybe Maura could help her, but hasn't she done so much for her already? The detective didn't want to burden her friend with a task like that again…but it if came to it, with Maura's charm, she would agree—no matter what.

Her mind was reeling still at the very notion that she had male genitalia—she has a penis! How the hell in the world did that happen to her—on her being? She shook her head then turned to face the mirror and quickly glanced away at her reflection. She couldn't believe this was her, surely it was a dream? A very surreal dream nonetheless. But she knew that it was reality—cold, hard reality—as she splashed her face with cold water and pinched her jaw.

_Oh my God, I can't believe this—no way can a woman suddenly wake up with…this?!_ Jane thought, frantically scrubbing her hands with soap. She has been through traumatic events in her lifetime but this…event took the piece of cake—winning with its abnormality. The brunette shook her head, wondering if—_ if_—she could get rid of this abnormality on herself.

Sighing, Jane exited the bathroom and quickly looked around her bedroom, seeing the messy bed and—_the bottle!_ Jane thought, feeling a frisson of energy that, maybe—just maybe, the liquid she drank last night was the cause of her problem. She glared down at her crotch, seeing the bulge strain against her tight girl-briefs.

The detective felt a little regret at testing the concoction—damn her curiosity!—and grabbed the bottle, wondering if Maura could give a screening of what was in the liquid, seeing as there was a little bit left when she looked at it with closer inspection then put it back on the nightstand. Finally, that would be the last of asking her friend for help—_certainly,_ but the thought didn't sound as sure as she wanted it to and felt a niggling doubt.

She peeked her head out cautiously before walking down the dim corridor and paused, seeing Maura cook was settling a feel of domesticity. And she trampled down the thought before it would evolve into something more—something to feel.

"Hey…Maur," Jane said, her voice shaky and timid. Her friend glanced at her before smiling in greeting and gestured for Jane to sit as she finished up on the last of pancakes.

Jane did sit down, with great reluctance and wondered if this was a "calm before the storm" situation where Maura hated her for being a…freak. She clasped her hands together nervously, intertwining her fingers and wringing them at the ringing silence that met her ears, except for the occasional hiss of heat. If there was anything in the world to protect, it was Maura…and family, but mainly Maura. The reason why was a fuzzy answer she didn't want to explore because she was afraid of finding out the answer but knew it in the deep recesses of her mind.

The small clutter of a plate settling before her knocked her out of her stupor and she made the purpose to avoid hazel eyes by looking at the table. Jane grabbed the fork, cutting into the pancake with fervor and took a bite. She was chewing frantically before Maura spoke, her voice a cut through the thick tension that surrounded them…

"Jane, I know this is a hard—I mean, _difficult_ situation but we'll find what did this to you, I know we will." Her friend promised, laying her hand over Jane's, which held a fork and trembled. Jane bit her lip, anything to stall the tears from forming and the sob that wanted to rip from her throat.

She shook her head, "No, Maura. We don't need to find the cause because I have it." The fork was put down beside the plate; her hands were shaking too much from the sheer terror she felt at what her friend's reaction would be.

Maura looked concerned, then gently said:

"May I see it, Jane?"

She nodded, still not looking at Maura and rose from the table to hastily go to her room. With relief, Jane took the bottle and went back to the kitchen, where Maura looked cautious as she put it on the table. Her hand let it go as though it was a disease. Maybe it was—for her.

"Is that what made you grow a penis, Jane?"

The tall brunette looked at Maura strangely. "Yes—I was curious and didn't know the abnormal side effects it would have on me because—it looked like water! Even tasted like water—just old." And she shrugged, acutely aware of the searing gaze on her face.

Maura got up and then put the bottle in a plastic bag, careful to hold it upright so the little remaining liquid wouldn't escape.

"I am going to go get a toxic screening on this—to see what ingredients were in this concoction." It almost felt…comforting to hear Maura say that. And it was, since she knew Maura—one way or another—would find a solution to her problem.

Then Maura left, but kept her purse here to say to Jane that she would be right back. Jane went to the living-room, feeling dizzy that so much had happened with the last fourteen hours. She grabbed the remote and turn off the T.V, bathing in the silence and contemplated what would happen now as questions popped up. What would she tell her mother…if she couldn't get off the male genitalia? _"Hey, ma, I have a penis." Yeah, that will go well—no way at all. Maybe approach it more subtly—God, I don't have a fucking clue what to say! Maura is the only one that knows—and she still hasn't given me an opinion if this changes our friendship or not…_She sighed, irritated at not gaining a clear answer.

She reclined more into the couch, feeling tense muscles relax. Her eyes screwed shut as she tried to avoid the consciousness that she hadn't taken a shower in two days. _No, don't even think about…_Her pulse raced like a galloping horse, the sound of blood rushing was loud in her ears.

She hunched forward, putting her head in her hands as she tried to sort through the maelstrom of emotions. But it felt so messed up—as though her life was meant to spiral downwards from its high streak in the skies. Now that she crashed, reality felt like the harsh winters of Antarctica and she felt so bare—vulnerable to anything that preyed on weakness, on fear that still gripped her heart. She glanced down at her crotch, wondering if she should change underwear and tape it so close to her that it wouldn't be too noticeable. But she decided against that and waited for Maura to come back.

It was an hour going by before Maura was back—her face red with the bite of chilling winds outside. Jane felt relieved but didn't bother to say anything about it and took off Maura's coat to put it on one of the hangers. If anything, she was nervous, filled to the brim with questions.

Her friend glanced at her, Jane caught the genuine concern in their depths and felt a warmth creep on her, blossoming in her chest.

"So..." Jane said, trailing off when nothing had come to mind. Not that she was always eloquent when it came to words, but she figured it was a good try.

Maura got to the root of her anxiety. "Jane, I know you want something for me to do—anything, Jane. Please don't hesitate to ask. I don't mind if it means helping you through this."

Jane flushed, "You know—you know how I don't want to touch _it_?"

Maura nodded, and then perked up. "I don't exactly get it but yes, I do. Since a penis is not meant to be on a woman, naturally."

"Well, I need to—uh, get tighter briefs because it's too noticeable so can you buy them for me?" Jane asked, feeling dread knot her stomach.

The medical examiner's gaze traveled down the athletic form of her friend and lay onto the thick bulge protruding from her pelvic region. She swallowed the lump in her throat, suddenly feeling aware of the heat Jane's body generated and emitted outwards to warm her skin.

"I'll do that now, Jane I just need to get something from my house." She got up and left, fleeing from the prodding thoughts of her mind as she _almost_ lied to her friend—but narrowly missed it.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Maura couldn't say she was surprised when she saw Angela in her kitchen, baking something. But the aroma was titillating to her nose that she had to know.

"What are you making, Angela?" She asked anything to stop herself from blurting out what had happened to her daughter. Angela didn't deserve that, but she also didn't deserve the hiding of a truth from her either. Maura hadn't asked to be in the middle of this situation but mused that if helping Jane meant keeping it a secret for now, she wouldn't object. Only time would tell on how things were going to unravel.

"Oh! Maura, dear, I'm just making a cake, it's for Tommy. My little baby is finally getting on the right path so I decided to celebrate." Maura noticed how Angela's smile was so similar to Jane's—each with amazing dimples. Especially Jane's smile, her dimples seemed to wink at her and when they did, her heart danced a happy jig. Then she shook her head, though her heart didn't 'dance', it did flutter wildly in her chest around Jane.

"Maura how is Jane? I haven't seen her—or even spoke to her in a while!" At Angela's concern, Maura didn't have a clear way to express that Jane was doing 'okay' as in she was healthy and…not so 'okay' in a sense that she has a penis. A very sizable one…but it was male genitalia nonetheless.

"She's doing well and…is very healthy!"

Angela cocked her head to the side then shot Maura a suspicious look. As though sensing the impending question, Maura distracted her by pointing out that she should keep a closer eye on the cake. Angela busied herself with preparing a plate to bring the cake on and putting on oven mitts.

Sighing with relief at avoiding _that_ situation, the medical examiner headed back to her bedroom, roaming around for her laptop. Maura found her laptop hidden under the bed in its case. She pulled it towards her and into her lap, powering it up and waited for a few minutes. Once she was on the internet, Maura searched up on _Google_ to see if there were any cases—like Jane—that were victimized to sex changes by fluid. Only, that backfired and she was frustrated after many variations of her searches on different networks.

By the time Maura was done with her inquiries, there were no stories about _how_ someone—in this case, Jane got male genitalia overnight by drinking—what looked like water—a transparent, tasteless liquid. What was baffling, was that—in secret before going to her workplace and asking for her assistant to run tests, Maura sniffed the bottle and smelled no fumes to indicate of anything toxic—it had left no clues of where it was manufactured, either. Usually bottles were labeled before shipped off to stores, so it threw Maura off when she looked below, and around for the label but saw none.

Something about this was very—what was the term Jane used when there was a niggling doubt? Ah, right—_fishy._ And Maura was going to find out the root of this whole problem, especially why Jane seemed so quiet but angry, too, instead of breaking down at seeing the sight of a tent under the blanket. It would explain the reclusive nature of her friend, who seemed to want to believe that it was a dream—and nothing more. More so, it felt as though Jane didn't want to admit of what she did yesterday or better yet, _where_ she was for the majority of the day.

But for now, she had to shop for small-sized briefs. Before she headed out, Maura peeked into the kitchen to see Angela sucking her fingers as a consequence for not having enough patience until the metal cooled. She smirked, and then shook her head, amused.

After two hours, Maura found herself inside a men's shop, a variety of underwear, briefs and cut-out boards of male models that had over-average bulges but she found some indication of photo-shopping and shook her head. The lengths that some people were willing to go, just to sell a product, Maura mused before looking around hopelessly. She wondered if she should get black, or white, or grey or the striped or dotted briefs.

A handsome salesman walked over to where she was, chuckling before breaking the ice if she wanted _professional help_ on which underwear to buy. The way he emphasized _professional help_ wasn't lost on her, but she wasn't willing to waste time on some flirty sales person, her first priority was Jane. And Jane was the one that needed her help and attention. She choose small, black brief, liking how black clashed with her friend's tanned skin and drew attention on her athletic build. And black, very fitting briefs would make Jane look absolutely—Maura gulped, not wanting to finish that particular though as she felt a heat flash through her and spread down low. She paid for the package of black, tight briefs before running out the store as though hell was on her heels.

When she arrived at Jane's apartment, it was already close to 7PM, which surprised her since she didn't think that it would take that much time. But it seemed that time passed faster when you were out shopping for briefs for your very _female_ friend who wanted tight briefs. She sighed when she saw Jane on the couch, napping in a reclined position. Yet it didn't look that comfortable with her neck leaning forward in an awkward way, so Maura tip-toed to her friend and gently pushed her head so it laid flat on the couch cushions.

There were only a few sleepy protests at the small movement when she covered Jane with a blanket. She smiled sadly, wondering why this had happened to her friend—hadn't she suffered enough? Jane didn't need the burden of keeping her male genitalia a secret. Maura knew her friend had a great, fit body, yet there was now a plausible reason that she couldn't show it off. That made her brows furrow in frustration, until she got those results in from work, she would be helpless until then.

**_—Okay, I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry for any mistakes. I worked my mind off at writing this story. (: But I don't mind. As always, review or read, please. :D_**


	4. Unexpected and the expected

Thanks for the reviews! :D I'm left wondering if there is something wrong with me because I—for once—feel like I'm addicted to updating! Not sure why, maybe it is because your reviews are lovely as hell. I mean that in a complimentary way. (: Also, I would like to complete this story first, this story has been on mind for days and now? My mind is urging me to complete this, don't worry though, I won't rush it. (:

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 4:_**_ Unexpected and the expected_

Jane woke up, feeling groggy with an impossibly stuffed head. Her vision was blurry before she blinked, seeing her ceiling. Her body felt relaxed after a good night's sleep. But there was a throbbing pressure where her pelvic region was, she groaned, seeing the bulge strain tightly against its confinement. _That's what you get, you—you thing!_ She thought, glaring at her male genitalia—seeing morning wood on males was one thing, but to see it on her own body? It made her dizzy, feeling nauseous at the sight of her erection trying to stand proud but was horribly restrained.

The more she moved, the more she realized that she was giving herself a wedgie and it taxed on her penis. She winced, _goddammit!_ And Jane knew that the tighter briefs she asked Maura to buy weren't going to be any less harsh on her unwanted attachment. Throwing off the blanket, she suppressed the kindling warmth that wanted to spread throughout her body at the kindness Maura showed—while also rushing blood south, but she kept a fierce glare on the bulge as she stood up, intent on not allowing _those_ kind of thoughts run through her mind.

Shaking her head, the detective saw Maura pausing, her gaze wide with surprise as they locked down between her legs—with a gasp, Jane cupped her male genitalia, as to protect Maura's eyes from seeing her abnormality. _I hate this damn thing—why can't it just disappear or at least it could do: flatten._ But it swelled with heat, thrumming wildly as Maura seemed to be an absolute sight of perfection and gave its opinion that it liked what she saw—stupid thing was betraying her! She hated that this penis had a mind of its own (but it showed how affected she was), and injected a dose of lust in her bloodstream.

"Jane—um, are you alright?" Maura's voice seemed shakier, low as a rumble—Jane shivered at the sound of her name rolling across her friend's tongue so smoothly.

Instead, she replied with sarcasm—a stark contrast with her large problem. "No, I'm dying of humiliation and damning my curiosity to hell." Then she saw Maura flinch, and realized that her friend was only trying to help. Jane wilted, sitting back down on the couch and gestured wildly with her hands.

"I'm sorry, Maur." Jane clasped her hands together, her shoulders hunched forth as though baring a heavy burden—in a way, she was.

Maura came to sit beside her, laying a warm hand on her knee as Jane grabbed the blanket and bunched it up to where her erection strained against her briefs, wanting to hide it from view and pretend that it wasn't attached to her body. That and she didn't want Maura to see it, stare it like—Jane was puzzled but shrugged mentally. Maura was just so…Maura, probably staring at it in fascination or something like that. But she didn't bother to look up to see the hunger darkening hazel eyes as she mulled over her situation.

"Jane, don't apologize. I'm allowing to you to yell at me—_anything_ to let out that frustration that seems permanently embedded in your eyes." Maura said, now rubbing Jane's knee with soothing circles. And it calmed Jane, as she tried to desperately collect her thoughts, but there was a pulse of desire that thudded between her legs. She hated how her male genitalia worked its way to raise her frustration and she was tempted to call Maura on that "_anything_"—but blanched and shook her head, of course it wanted her to do _that_.

But she wasn't going to bend to its lustful ways. And she was going to exercise her self-control in this situation now. She grasped Maura's hand, and intertwining their fingers, something to stop the tingles that surrounded the area her friend rubbed with much care.

Five minutes had gone by, the silence stretched on—Jane hadn't bothered to reply and simply accepted Maura's shoulder to lean on, her eyes shutting close.

It was 12:45PM by the time she woke up, her head lay on Maura's shoulder and their clasped hands were between them. It felt natural, Maura's hands fitted with hers like a glove, and like the perfect puzzle piece…she shook her head to dispel the thought. But she had to relieve some pressure from her bladder…and yet she did not want Maura to wake up just to do a simply task, really that men did all the time—but women didn't. They didn't have penises, just a vagina to sit down on the toilet and piss. That was it, but she would be forced to touch _it_, to control it so there wouldn't be piss all over the bathroom.

Untangling herself slowly from Maura's arm that snaked around her waist at some point, Jane froze when her friend's hand gripped lightly at the end of her shirt—she smiled despite the task she was going to do, with much courage. To know that Maura was seeking her presence and physical being during sleep was incredibly endearing—so much she had to restrain herself from hugging Maura. The detective pulled Maura's hand away, laying it on the blanket before tip-toeing to the bathroom to face her fear. A fear she really didn't want to touch but had to get over it.

Staring at the toilet never seemed so daunting, Jane mused as her bladder screamed for relief. With a flinch, she pulled down her briefs and kicked them off, and faced the toilet again.

The tall brunette didn't dare to look down; it was bad enough that she was forced to touch it and gripped its base, gasping at how sensitive she felt. It pulsed with her every heartbeat, her fingers ghosted over small veins, and felt it bob up and down before she shook her head and focused on peeing.

It was tiring and frustrating after five minutes and not a drop of urine spilled. Jane scowled; giving at quick glare at it—despite the fact that she had male genitalia attached to her, she was still shy at the notion of _if_ she had to do more than touch. And Jane didn't want to use _it_, ever. She couldn't get over why she was cursed with a penis, maybe the Gods had a grudge against her, but she doubted that. It was her damn curiosity and she paid for it—with interest.

"Just—how," she shook the penis as though it were a toy as her bladder needed the satisfaction of releasing the bad content from her body. "—hard it is to fucking piss? I did it when Maura—" She shut up instantly and squeezed with her hand, wondering if there was something blocking her urine from coming out.

_Don't tell me I have to ask Maura to help me each time I want to take a damn piss. And yet you take down the nastiest of criminals and psychopaths but you can't even handle this._ She groaned, but seeing as how unrelenting at how her—still unwanted—penis was cooperating, she had no choice but to call out to Maura to help her again, who appeared in the bathroom within moments.

"Yes, Jane? Oh, you need assistance again, I see. Just close your eyes."

Jane did and tried not to tremble when she felt Maura press up against her from behind and gripped her penis carefully. And it was comforting—to know that Maura didn't view it as something as abnormal, that her best friend wasn't scorning her because of what she was carrying.

It was relaxing to know that she had such a loving person to care for her. Then, the pressure was released from her bladder. Her brows furrowed, maybe there was something magic about the way Maura controlled her aim, that or her penis really did have a mind of its own and likes Maura's hand holding it.

"There—done." And the warmth of her friend's hand went away, leaving her with a bereft feeling. "I'll get you your new briefs. Just wait here, Jane." Maura said, exiting the washroom to grab the package of Jane's briefs—that would hopefully—help in her situation.

Maura returned in less than four minutes, her hand held the plastic package where new briefs went folded. Jane nodded, breathing out shakily as she ripped it open and pulled the small underwear out. She used one hand to balance by grabbing the sink counter, and the other to slip her legs through before standing up and pulling the small briefs up. The detective winced, it felt as though her whole pelvic region was restricted—tightly bound as her penis was flushed forcefully to her lower abdomen.

"So—" Jane took in a deep breath, anything to stabilize the throbbing pain in her male genitalia as it ached to be let free. But that was the very reason: she didn't want the bulge to be noticeable even if it meant going through pain. "—what's for lunch?"

Maura cast a dubious look at Jane trying to conceal a pained expression. "Jane—are you sure it's okay to—Jane!"

Jane had fainted, her energy deplete with trying to go through the pain.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Angela welcomed in Tommy with a big hug, laying a kiss on his cheek before dragging him to the kitchen. She sent a look over her shoulder, seeing Frankie at the couch, watch sports on the plasma T.V.

"Have you talked to Jane yet?"

The youngest brother shook his head, eyes filled with genuine confusion. "No, I have not. By the way, where is she? And where is Maura?"

The mother of three adults—but they were still her babies, they would be forever—looked helpless in giving an answer. "I have no more than a clue than you do. C'mon, they're probably at Jane's. Like always," Angela rolled her eyes, knowing Maura and Jane were very close—so close that they slept at each other's place and bed.

"Frankie, we'll be out for a while so help yourself to some cake!" She yelled before closing the door behind her and directed Tommy to her car.

It was twenty minutes before they arrived at Jane's apartment, five minutes spent waiting in traffic like crowded lamb waiting for slaughter. Angela stomped her way up the stairs with Tommy following silently.

She counted the door numbers before reaching Jane's and pulled out her keys—a distant reminder of Jane's voice rang through her mind: _"Only to be used for emergencies…"_—Angela unlocked the door (deciding that this was an emergency and wanted to know why her daughter hasn't called once!), then hung her coat and headed to the living-room to see if they were lounging there. But they weren't.

Maybe Jane's bedroom taking a nap—it was most likely since it was quiet as night. Angela shushed Tommy when he was making creaking sounds in the floor boards.

With the bedroom door ajar, she peeked in slowly to see—her eyes widened. She knew they were close, but not _that_ close and just when were they going to tell her about their relationship? Angela didn't mind at all, in fact, she was expecting it…for a long time.

With a grin, she pushed Tommy back so that he didn't see them—particularly Maura as she was kneeling and taking off Jane's underwear, then that was it.

"Ma, are they here?" Tommy asked as they left the apartment. Angela couldn't keep the grin off her face any longer and hope that she was going to get grandchildren. _I'm about to get a doctor in the family!_

She almost skipped her way to her car. Tommy muttered:

"Geez, what did she see that got her so dang happy all of the sudden?" Then he shrugged, that was like his mother.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Jane felt her too-tight briefs slip off and groaned as Maura's hand messaged her inner thighs, her thumbs pressing in gently to rid of any lingering pain. "M-Maura—" She managed to choke out, feeling as the pain was mixing with an impossibly hot burn around her pelvic region. "It—it hurts so much—" Her breathing was ragged as pain overloaded her other senses.

Then, Maura was looking down at her from her upside down view as she looked at the medical examiner while lying on the bed. "Do you trust me, Jane?" Maura's hands slipped away from her thighs and clasped together as she awaited Jane's answer.

"Yes, I do—with my life, Maura." _And with my whole heart,_ Jane thought but kept it to herself as Maura smiled.

"I'll be right back." She departed off the bed and to somewhere else in Jane's apartment. Then her friend was looming over her, a serious glint in her eyes.

"Close your eyes, this might—feel—cold…"

Jane screwed her eyes shut in anticipation, her breath bated. It was a surprise when her penis was held in an icy embrace. She screamed; suddenly super sensitive to the cold sting that assaulted her male genitalia. But Maura held her body down, as it thrashed side to side, trying to get away from the coldness that rivaled the temperature in the Arctic.

"Oh…please no more…" Jane groaned—twisting her hips as she felt the icy embrace was actually Maura's hands rubbing her penis up and down with soothing strokes. The pain that used to throb was slowly going away…Jane moved her pelvis down with Maura's downward stoke, wanting to get away from the niggling arrival of pleasure but her friend had a secure hold.

"Maura, don't…do this, oh god…" The detective felt her self-control slowly dwindle away as the medical examiner stroked her penis until blood started rushing south and then came the swell of desire. She was shuddering, her hips jerking against the bed and into the air. She gripped Maura's wrists with her hands, stopping them from their ascent on her penis.

"M-Maura, I trust you but…I can't do _that_ yet, maybe when…I'm more comfortable." Fatigue washed over her as she blinked.

Maura nodded. "Okay, Jane, but at least the pain is gone, right…? I'll put you in more comfortable clothing and underwear. Go to sleep, you need it. We'll talk later…"

**_—Okay, that's it for now. Expect the relationship build-up in the next few chapters. Two updates in one day, you guys are lucky I love you so much :D Sorry for any mistakes, enjoy. (: Umm, does the rating change since there's a bit of detail of what Maura is doing to Jane or what? _****(O_o)**


	5. Getting Results

Geez, you guys are funny _and _amazing too—in a great way! (^_^) Thanks for the reviews; you're making me more addicted to updating this story. :P But, even though I've updated twice in a row on both days, my mind is going to have to take a break sometime soon. However, after this chapter was posted, I started on another one. Seriously, I thought you guys were going to flame me for doing this to poor Jane, (O_o) but I'm really glad you like—love—it!

Note: I work better with Jane's thoughts (since her sarcasm is lovely to write (;)—unless you give me an thorough indication on what goes on in Maura's mind (especially after seeing & touching Jane's penis) but you know what, I'll try it out. :P Oh, _and_ I got another story idea, (^_^) but that's after I finish this one. (:

**Note:** I'm going to update as slow or fast as I want—whenever I get a good idea and snowball it. Rating changed to _M_, for uhhhh, Maura's outlook when she stroked Jane. (; This chapter also stumped me, too. So sorry for the late update. (^_^); God I felt absolutely guilty when I didn't update earlier. So so sorry. ):

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 5:_**_ Getting Results_

Maura's stomach swooped low as she stared at Jane's peaceful face…then traveled along her sternum to her flat abdomen highlighted by the white tank top and finally…the bulge resting between her friend's legs. She gulped, her breathing increased at an exponential rate until she looked away.

Jane didn't give herself nearly enough credit for being beautiful—she was breath taking and it didn't matter to Maura if Jane was 'packing' or not. She knew that whoever was blessed with Jane's heart was _certainly _someone to envy. Something twanged in her stomach and left a sour taste in her mouth, the feeling in her heart—it was a matter she didn't want to address _yet_.

Still, Jane was napping—for nearly as hour—and Maura, ever the concerned person, watched over Jane vigilantly for any more signs of discomfort. For the moment, she contented herself with rubbing Jane's knees—as her mind dived into the event that happened less than five hours ago.

Maura sighed, wondering what possessed her to do _that_ to her friend—who looked willing to succumb to the pleasure but her wonderful self-control, stopped it from going further. And she had to admit to herself that she was glad Jane stopped her from doing more—from wanting to do more because she wanted to wait for the perfect time to confess. Even though she enjoyed her task of freezing her hands and wrapping her hands around Jane's male genitalia and stroking it. The act of doing that to her friend bombarded her with desire, and pooled low in her abdomen.

In clear memory, she could recall the pulsing, hard warmth she held in her hands—despite the coldness she dipped them it, it was a stark contrast between hot and cold. Everything she was thinking during that moment was wiped out at the sheer feel of Jane in her hands, as she stroked and felt compelled to bring her friend to orgasm. But Jane stopped her—and not a moment too soon. If she continued for a few more minutes…Jane would tumble over the edge but she could only imagine the rapturous expression on her face and how she would spill her lust—Maura shook her head frantically, as she buried the image deep in the recesses of her mind.

She sat on the couch in contemplative silence, running a pattern along the right calf of Jane's leg with a finger. Maura always did know that Jane would turn her world upside-down—and she succeeded. Maura was introduced to things that hadn't happened in her life then and it was an exciting aspect. The medical examiner bit her lip, glancing at Jane once more before reaching for the remote—pausing instantly when one of Jane's hands twitched. Then leaning back into her original position, she gently clasped their hands together—intimately feeling the tell-tale callouses from hard work days—and the scar tissue—a sore memory of a psychopath, she mused idly, gripping more tightly but held on loosely as not to wake Jane.

Jane shifted and the balls of her feet pressed against the inside of her right thigh, dangerously close to where she wanted it to be. Maura looked at Jane as her brows furrowed. _You are such a tease, Jane—even then and now. But I have my happiest moments with you._ Then she tried to inch herself away from the titillating pressure near her so intimately and took deep breaths to calm her racing heart. Maura laid her palms on her friend's calves, intent on moving them off her lap and somewhere far from her privates.

Instead, she didn't—as someone was knocking on Jane's door. Maura hissed, who the hell was here now? She gazed at Jane, who mumbled then slowly opened her eyes. She smiled apologetically and felt bereft when Jane swung her legs off her lap and stood up.

"Who's there? Jane croaked out, scratching her head with confusion.

Maura still sat on the couch, also curious as to who was beyond the door, watching in rapt attention when Jane opened the door.

"Tommy!" Jane shouted, her brows drawing in as she let her brother in.

Maura shared a surprised glance with Jane before standing up and smoothing any wrinkles from her skirt. "Hello, Tommy. Is there any particular reason you're here?" She looked at him briefly, moving to where Jane stood, perceptibly shaking. And she understood why—because she was wearing boxers, and they didn't hide the bulge that well—so she stood in front of Jane, reaching behind to place a comforting hand on Jane's forearm.

He didn't look all too certain about how to answer, but she waited patiently—almost jumping in shock when Jane's hand intertwined with hers and drew mindless patterns on her palm. But she didn't nearly mind as she thought she would, simply because it felt so natural to hold her hand with Jane's.

"Well—uh, I was wondering what you guys were doing in your bedroom five hours ago." Tommy asked them, who looked at each other, clearly not expecting that question and also suspicious.

Jane pressed up behind Maura, her voice stern and demanding—it sent a delightful thrill race down Maura's spine when the sound vibrated to her:

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because I and ma visited here, we sneaked in—hoping to surprise you if you were in the living room then she went towards the bedroom, seeing that the door was open a bit and before I could get a look, she pushed me away and ushered us out. That and she were smiling—scared the hell out of me and Frankie, though."

Jane paled. Maura gave a concerned look, squeezing her friend's hand firmly. _I wonder if she saw us or 'it'—but then she would have been here herself, demanding an answer out of Jane._ She thought.

Tommy looked at them, and then remembering something else, excused himself out.

It was total silence between them. Maura couldn't exactly place how her friend was feeling.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Jane turned to Maura, her eyes filled with fear. "Maur—please tell me that we're going to get the results soon?" She was anxious with waiting for those results and wondered that if there was a time limit to her male genitalia—and dreaded it if it stayed on her, for life—but that was a matter she didn't want possible yet it was.

Her friend nodded slowly, and then glanced at the clock. "I could get them now if you want," at Jane's small "yes," Maura smiled, once again squeezing her hand in support. "It shouldn't take more than half an hour." And she left. Jane sighed shakily, running a hand through wild locks before sitting back on the couch and turning on the T.V—anything to distract herself from stopping Maura.

Turning up the volume, she decided this wasn't going to work as a distraction and closed her eyes. What made her happy? _Food,_ she thought with a grin. Who made her happy? _Maura, always Maura._ Her heart raced at her friend's name. Then snapped her eyes open, where were these questions coming from? And she got up, paced around then looked down at the bulge, seeing it strain against its confinements at the mention of Maura. She rolled her eyes—of course this part of her betrayed how much she needed her—very attractive and very _female_—friend.

_Go down boy!_ She was tempted to slap it, maybe pain would make it die down, and Jane mused. So she did, slapping it hard and briefly before recoiling as she felt the sheer pleasure from that action. A shuddering breath escaped her as her pulse quickened; Jane pressed her thighs together, looking around for another way to occupy her time. _Well, that backfired…_Jane thought, heading to her bedroom and deciding to lie in bed and laze around.

The bed was comfortable as she pulled the blanket over her, and then stared at the ceiling. What was she doing? It felt so lonely in her apartment…realizing that most of her days were spent basking in Maura's presence and she got so used to it that she didn't question it anymore, whether it was right or wrong when her friend messaged her penis gently with cold hands, it just _was._ And she had no problem with that…with the thought of Maura touching her there again, her hand stroking up and down…her breathing hitched as she shook her head.

Jane wasn't even sure where their relationship was heading—because so many things got messed up and blurred and they still needed to talk. But she had a feeling that she was going to have to wait awhile until they started that conversation and focused on counting the seconds…minutes…until Maura was back for Jane to soak up her attention and time…

She was woken up with a shake to her shoulder, Maura sat on the edge of her bed, holding a manila file in her hand. Jane sat up, quickly, blinking as vertigo overwhelmed for a moment before looking at Maura with a grim expression.

"Did you…look at the results?"

The medical examiner shook her head, "No, I want you to see the results. After all, you wanted to know…" And then she gave Jane the files, looking at them cautiously and slipped her hand inside, pulling out a sheet to read with apprehension-filled eyes.

Jane looked up at Maura with a strange frown, and then glanced back down at the papers. "It doesn't make sense… it just says water." She said, handing the paper to Maura, who quickly scanned it then gaped.

"B-But…then how did you get a penis?" Maura questioned, glancing pointedly at her crotch before focusing on the paper again. Jane shrugged, feeling a disappointment twist in her stomach. Water…simple water—she shook her head.

"I have no clue—will that mean I'm going to be stuck with _this_ for my life?" Jane bit her lip, wondering how her mother was going to cope with a daughter that had male genitalia on her. Why did her life have to be so damn complicated? She glared at the bulge for a moment before sighing heavily, her shoulders hunching forward and she put her face in her hands, feeling a weight that settled in her stomach at the mere idea of having _it_ for the rest of her life.

She welcomed Maura's light touch upon her knee—it was comforting and familiar to the ever-changing events in her life that threw her in a loop of confusion. Jane looked up, gazing into kind hazel eyes and smiled—faintly noting how close they were as the caress on her knee was covered with the warmth of her friend's palm. Maura deserved more than a simple 'thank-you'—but Jane didn't know how to convey how grateful she was for having Maura on her side.

"You don't have to say anything, Jane…." Maura whispered before tilting her head up slightly and met Jane's mouth with her own—brushing gently, teasingly for five minutes then Jane tangled her hands in curly, soft hair, bringing Maura's lips to lock with her own in a passionate kiss.

**_—Okay, I'm stopping there. Who knows what might happen next? :D Lol, anyways, thanks for the reviews! _****(^_^)/**


	6. It's time to…

I feel like updating every day but I know I can't type _that_ fast. As always, thanks for the reviews—and for the faves and alerts. (: As for Jane having testicles? Yes, a male genitalia does have that. XD But I'm not going to explicitly describe that. (0, o)

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail, for now—as my fuel for the story dies down until the next idea that springs in my mind (and I know I still have to address the reason of _why_ Jane got male genitalia and what they (her and Maura) are going to do to solve it—or if they want to. (; M-rating in this chapter (again, not sex, just Maura…reacting). :P There is some fluff, but my mind betrayed me with directing me to write this. XD

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 6:_**_ It's time to…_

It was morning—a new day and an uncertain future ahead of them, Maura held in the yawn that wanted to escape into the silence, just content to lay in Jane's embrace. Upon further notice, her friend's erection was poking between her legs, Maura shifted away—desperate to keep a tight rein on her desires as they rose with a vengeance. She didn't want to make Jane uncomfortable if she woke up in this position and tried to meditate—especially after last night's kiss which they talked about—only putting it off as a "thank you" kiss. As thoughtful as Jane was, she was hoping for more but locked away that disappointment.

But she couldn't because her body reacted to the hardness pressing against her so intimately. Maura bit her tongue, feeling a bit of relief from the pleasure slowly creeping up on her. Yet the pain didn't last long and only serve to make her clit throb, aching for release and a touch. She closed her eyes, tampering down the urge to grind against Jane's 'morning wood' as it put a teasing pressure on her fluttering sex. The weak contractions becoming stronger the more she was aware of Jane, pressed so close to her and arms wrapped so securely around her.

Minutes passed by before an hour was counted, Maura silently endured the torture, not wanting to wake her sleeping friend but had to or else she would jump on Jane's bones.

"Jane, please wake up. Jane—"

The brunette snuggled against her, shifting a bit and Maura stifled the whimper wanting to crawl out of her throat and greet the air. Her friend mumbled a few unintelligible words then froze, Maura waited, feeling Jane's body tense as she became more aware. Probably more aware of where her male genitalia was, Maura mused.

"S-Sorry, Maur—um, I'll just take a shower…._a very_—_cold shower._" Jane muttered with embarrassment as she moved away from Maura.

The medical examiner held back the frown, feeling her stomach sink as her friend sat on the edge of the bed with her shoulders hunched. She crawled behind Jane, laying a hand on her friend's back.

"It's a natural reaction, Jane, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I understand that you can't always control your body's urges, we all have them." Maura said, watching Jane intently, who squirmed in discomfort. _Offer some help in that shower of hers…maybe she'll need it?_ Maura wondered if Jane would accept…if not, she would lay here and rest. "And…will you need assistance in the shower?"

Jane froze, glancing at her quickly before clasping her hands together. "Ohh…no, I'm pretty sure I know how to clean myself but thanks for the offer, Maur." And then she got up and headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Maura sighed, reclining her body against the headboard and tried not to focus on the disappointment welling in her chest. Instead she imagined her confession to Jane, telling her that she loves her…has loved her for a long time. Then she would kiss Jane, softly and slowly, sensually and guide her to the bedroom…

…She would look into soulful brown eyes and whisper sweet nothings in her ear before stripping them both of clothing and finally, she would kiss Jane again and press her body against Jane's athletic figure before gripping her—Maura gasped, shook her head then sat up, feeling the contractions go away as she regained composure.

The medical examiner looked at the closed bathroom door wistfully, wishing that Jane was doing those things to her, touching her, kissing her…but even with that "thank you" friendly kiss, Maura could feel the tangible connection between them and knew that Jane felt it too. But she wished that Jane would tell her, instead of evading her gaze and keeping her distance yet she knew that Jane needed time to see…that Maura definitely did not care about her male genitalia (sure, it was nice but it wasn't a natural part of her Jane) and loved her for who she was.

Yet every second that passed, she grew anxious, deciding whether or not to confess her feelings and get over it or stay quiet and to wait. And finally, choose her path…

**-O—o—o—O-**

It was fifteen minutes when she got out the shower, wrapped a towel around her and threw her clothes in the laundry bin before she exited the steamy bathroom. Jane was mildly disappointed when she didn't see Maura—but decided it was better because she wouldn't see Jane getting changed or her male genitalia. She let the towel pool around her feet, going to the dresser to roam for comfortable clothing. Only to be surprised when arms pulled her into an embrace from behind, Jane realized that she was still naked and flinched.

"Jane," warm breath blew over the sensitive shell of her ear, and she shivered in delight, pushing down the need that welled up in her—and took a deep breath. But there no more words, Jane and Maura were encompassed in silence, each trying to figure out how to confess without sounding dreamy or too dull in their speech.

Shakily, Jane grasped at Maura's hands with her own, laying them over her trembling abdomen. She licked her lips out of nervousness—a habit she didn't use all the time and stood there, naked and dripping water on the floor. She shivered, feeling a contrast with the cold shower and the warmth Maura's body emitted.

"Um, Maur—I need to get dressed." Jane admitted as the intervals of the shivers were less and less, her voice was tremulous.

Maura pulled away, her hazel eyes conveyed a longing desire—a profound yearning as though she wanted time to pause during that moment—then the expression was gone, replaced by a cordial smile.

The detective sighed, rubbing at her forehead as she tried to dispel of the bereft feeling when Maura pulled away and exited her bedroom to give her privacy.

She gazed down at her male genitalia, waiting for a burning dislike to rears its head with a vengeance, but all she felt was a bit lonely and sadness, reminiscing how she wanted to choke her penis until it was numb. _But it still doesn't mean I like it, I'm just adapting to this situation, yeah…_She thought, grabbing a shirt, black briefs and red, white-striped shorts to wear before heading towards the living room, intent on starting the conversation that would decide the status of their relationship.

She found Maura sitting on the couch, with the T.V on. Her heart raced as she attempted to calm herself down and took a few deep breaths before determination and courage struck her. She just hoped it would stay long enough with her. Plopping down beside Maura, who looked far off in her own world, Jane snapped her fingers in front of Maura before she jumped in surprise as Maura gasped then gave her a heated glance but she shook her head, wondering if it was only wishful thinking and opened her mouth—

Until the sound of knock interrupted her, Jane snapped her mouth shut and marched up to the door, opening it.

"Ma, what do you want? And _why_ are you here?" Jane asked, irritated as she shared an apologetic look with Maura, mouthing quickly: _"We'll continue this later,"_ And once she dealt with her mother, she was going to confess to Maura right away, no more hesitations or doubts if she was "the one" for her—Jane knew deep in her bones and in her mind that Maura was hers, the one who held her heart.

Angela waved off her daughter, and smiled brightly, "Of course, silly daughter of mine, you should know I don't care who you love—she's perfect with you!" She exclaimed. Jane shot Maura a confused look, who shrugged, equally befuddled.

"Wait—wait, who and what are you talking about?"

Angela tilted her head to regard Jane and grasped Jane's hand then Maura's and said in an understanding voice:

"I may be old and not as smart as I used to, but I know you guys are together! But you don't need to keep it a secret, I'm completely okay with it since society isn't as straight-as-a-board as it used to be. Now I made gnocchi and brought some over to celebrate."

The detective groaned, wondering what put that idea in her mother's head, and then she remembered Tommy saying that they snuck in and apparently, her mother saw them. But what was suggestive enough to—oh, when Maura was between her legs. Jane flushed, sharing an intent gaze with Maura before clearing her throat and looking away.

"What—what makes you say that, ma?" She said, sounding nervous, hoping her mother going to put her on the spot and interrogate her.

"Well, I was going to visit you as a surprise—and because, you haven't _once_ contacted me so I was worried and decided to use that emergency key to see what was keeping you. But I found out that you were spending some time and energy with Maura, so I assumed that in the position you guys were in, that you were together—"

Jane sighed and held her hand up, indicating for Angela to stop talking. "That's the key word, ma, you _assumed_. You didn't bother to find if we really are—" She glanced at Maura fleetingly before staring at the ground, almost shocked when she completely forgot about her male genitalia and froze.

Then as Angela leaned over the counter, a concerned look in her eyes but Jane shook her head that she was fine. _How long have I had it? Four days, and a half—I've been complaining about it, every time of the day yet it feels like—_she burned the thought away, not even attempting to get an answer and gulped. "—together, because we aren't. Though," Jane paused, knowing it would be the perfect time to reply to her mother and confess to Maura. "I think we crossed that line long ago."

And an incredibly beautiful smile curled Maura's lips; it made Jane momentarily stunned by the sight. The detective cleared her throat, a bit embarrassed at her confession—even if it wasn't an outright "I love you" but she only wanted Maura to hear it—and no one else. She didn't throw the word "love" around lightly, it was an emotion that held her mind, body and heart in a permanent grip—with no hopes of ever loosening. And Jane didn't mind that—especially by the hint Maura sent her: she felt the same.

"Alright then, I see you two still have to work things out. Just pretend I wasn't here, please." Angela grinned at them. Her sunny attitude broke through Jane's dazed mind.

"Yeah, we'll pretend you're the ghost of matchmaking," she replied sarcastically, for once, glad that her mother misread the situation—since it boosted Jane's courage to finally say to Maura what she wanted all along to point out.

When Angela left, Jane looked at Maura, wondering what was in store now. Then, the medical examiner walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace which they savored each other—the feel of one another's body—where tone and slim met soft and curvaceous.

"Jane, do you know how long I've been waiting for you?" Maura whispered softly and smiled, tilting her head to meet coffee-brown eyes through her lashes as her arms wrapped around Jane's neck.

"No—h-how…long?" Her voice was husky as her pulse increased and snug in her underwear and shorts, her male genitalia throbbed with her heartbeats at the coy look Maura gave her. It was enough to relent to the urge to kiss her, and she did, softly and without a care in the world. Taking Maura's bottom lip, she suckled on it before prodding for entrance which was granted eagerly and got her taste of Maura—sweet and it weakened her self-resolve. Maura tightened her hold on Jane, pressing her body more closer to Jane's and sneaked her hand under Jane's shirt, caressing the trembling muscles of her abdomen.

"Jane, _it's been forever_," Maura gasped, her eyes fluttered shut as Jane pushed her against the counter. Jane sighed shakily, rubbing Maura's jaw gently with the back of her hand and then pulled back to turn away quickly. She didn't want Maura to see how much she affected her with just a kiss—and how close she felt to the edge.

The room seemed sweltering with heat and Jane wiped away the beads of sweat from her forehead, trying to calm her frantic breathing. But Maura was insistent and hugged her from behind, the brunette tensed, feeling Maura's hand rest on her hip before slowly inching its way past the waistband of her shorts to slip inside—and she was helpless to stop her. She wanted it as much as Maura but that's all they were: wants, not needs.

Before the hand could grasp her, Jane shook her head, "Maur—not like this. I want our time to be special and not in the living room. If I want to come, it'll be in you and in the privacy in our bedroom." She husked, facing Maura, who shivered and gazed at her heatedly then her hand was out of her shorts.

"You better hold onto that promise, _detective_." And then she sauntered out of sight and into her bedroom. Jane swallowed the lump that lodged itself in her throat as she clenched her hands.

**_—Holy crap I'm stopping there… _(^_^)_ Hope you enjoy! Sorry for any mistakes or if I rushed :P but I had to write this out before it went away. I'll look it over later when I'm not so busy. Please review or just read. :D And uhh, glad you like this story…I was skeptical if _anyone_ was going to like it or love it. :P_**


	7. I Need You So Much

Thanks for the continuous support—you people are amazing!  
(Hope I did okay-okay. Since I don't exercise my dirty mind nearly enough. *pre-emptively winces* and if I did horribly, god, give me advice. :P But people like smut.)

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail, for now—as my fuel for the story dies down until the next idea that springs in my mind (and I know I still have to address the reason of _why_ Jane got male genitalia and what they (her and Maura) are going to do to solve it—or if they want to. (;  
M-rating in this chapter (This time—it's sex! What you all been waiting for—sorry for teasing you people (and I gave you two sex scenes, since I've teased you for the last two chapters. XD)

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 7:_**_ I need you so much_

The heat pulsed in her erection, as it strained against its confinements and Jane yearned to take things slow and wait—but they already did so much waiting. She saw Maura, obviously naked and lying under the blanket, her expression was coy. The detective gulped, feeling choked and nervous like a teenager all over again—especially like a virgin. And in a way, she was—because she had _no_ idea whatsoever how it was going to feel. Yet she needed to feel Maura wrapped around her, to connect them in the most intimate way.

"Maura, are you sure?" Jane asked, her voice a whisper as she crawled on the bed and started to take off her shorts. Dilated eyes looked at her, then more lower before a gasp escaped past full lips and replied with a "Yes, God yes".

Their lips gently touched against each other's softly—Jane laid her hands on Maura's hip, fingers caressing the curve over the hip bone and heard Maura's breathing hitch. Her heart raced, every fiber of her being followed instinct, a primal urge to possess Maura—and it was a frightening concept. She pressed her lips more urgently, feeling Maura buck her hips.

"Maur—I want to touch you more," and she tugged off the blanket off Maura's body, and kneel over her. "You—are—so—damn—beautiful." She said between kisses, her hands grabbed her ass and she moved between Maura's slim thighs, feeling overwhelmed at the simple pleasure washing over her when Maura moaned as Jane sucked on her pulse.

"Jane—off, take them—off, I want you so badly." Maura arched her back, desperate for more contact between their bodies as she gripped at Jane's shoulders, locking her legs around a slim waist.

Jane struggled as she pulled down the suddenly-too-tight briefs and nearly cried in relief when it was released from its confinements. Her penis was throbbing with the desire that coursed in her veins and overtook her mind in a cloud of love and lust.

Maura's hand slid off her shoulders and gripped her ass to pull her forward—the surprise momentum initiated intimate contact with their sexes and it felt like a star had imploded on itself with the strong surge of titillating pleasure tightening the coil in her lower abdomen. She could feel Maura's sex contracting and it was difficult not to just take her then and there.

"Oh, Jane…." Maura rocked her hips, and Jane did too, pushing her hardness into hot wetness that embraced her immediately and she groaned, her arms trembling with the effort of keeping her weight off of Maura as she felt hot wetness coat her and muscles flutter spasmodically.

Looking into glittering hazel eyes, Jane briefly wondering how long someone could gaze into them without wanting to drown to see how deep they were, she managed a smile and quickly pecked full lips, darting her tongue to taste honey-sweet residue. Her hips were keeping at a steady but it felt so damn hard not to quicken her thrusts and bring them both over the edge. Her eyes fluttered shut, feeling an ache in her arms and Maura gripping at her so tightly that she had to pause a bit…not wanting to come prematurely and she needed to bring Maura over the edge first.

Jane kept chanting Maura's name through clenched teeth, her pelvic were rocking back and forth in a continuous rhythm…the promise of release and the tell-tale sign of the strong contractions wrapping around her so tightly were amazing as the coil in her lower abdomen tightened to an extent where it was ready to relieve itself. "Oh G-God… Maura!"

Her lover palmed her backside, telling her to go faster and, to stay there forever if only to prolong the profound ecstasy in their souls.

"Oh Jane…!"

There was a pressure somewhere in her that wanted to be released. Maura tightened her hold around Jane's hips, feeling _it_ hit deep inside her with a heavy weight and it was near encompassing with teasing as she neared her climax.

Her clit pulsed, aching for a touch and she slipped her hand between their bodies, feeling the sweat that stuck to their skin. And she rubbed slowly, gently making circular motions for a minute before her sex contracted so strongly that her breath was stolen away, once, twice than she opened her mouth in a silent scream, feeling herself release. Then Jane followed, her arms collapsing at the force her orgasm, and weakly rolled to the side, trembling with aftershocks.

"Wow—that felt—" Jane spoke first but she wasn't sure how to describe it.

"—Out of this world?" Maura offered, chortling when Jane sighed, then smiled contently and nodded.

"Yeah, kind of like that but also something that—can't be described by simple words." Jane spooned Maura, laying her hand on the tantalizing curve of her hip and traced mindless designs. _I can love her forever,_ Jane thought, closing her eyes to the fatigue that overwhelmed her. The silence was comforting and lulled them to a deep sleep.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Maura smiled, nuzzling her nose along the column of neck exposed to her, not wanting to wake up but had to. Jane's face when she was climaxing was like she imagined: rapturous and satisfied. She twined her legs with Jane's, and briefly felt a flash of desire when Jane's erection brushed the inside of her thigh and got an interesting idea on how to wake Jane up. Her sex throbbed in anticipation; her pulse raced as she untangled herself from Jane carefully then straddled Jane. A gush of hot wetness slid down her thigh, Maura shivered at the thought—and the small thrill that ran up her spine.

She teased herself, rubbing the head against her clit then slowly pushing it inch by inch. Her thighs trembled at the exertion of rocking at a leisurely pace, waiting for Jane to wake up. Maura gripped the sheets in her fists; a guttural moan finally released itself into the air. _Oh Jane, oh god!_ She thought as she anted up the speed when she could feel the contractions becoming stronger and stronger, then pulsed once, twice and bit her lip; the jolt of pain intensified her pleasure.

For moments, she waited for the aftershocks to pass, feeling weak in the knees and every fiber of being wanted to experience that thrill again but she tampered down that urge, her heart racing when she saw dark eyes looking at her in hunger.

"M-Maura—oh god," Jane husked, groggy with sleep as she became more aware of her surroundings, Maura bit her lip, rolling her pelvis forward and felt the head hit a spot that made her see stars for a moment. And she did it again and again, feeling the rush of endorphins and the brutal call of her climax as her sex fluttered spasmodically.

Jane groaned, hands gripping onto her hips as she jerked her hips wildly—Maura briefly wish Jane had let go earlier, but it was better late than never. It was unexpected when her hard nipples were pinched, a gasp fell out of her mouth and she was kissed roughly in the throes of their passion as her orgasm claimed her. Jane swallowed her cry of pleasure, and shuddered her release, groaning then splayed her hands on Maura's back, caressing as they lived in the small aftershocks. Maura weakly pulled the sheets over them as the small contractions subsided and lay on Jane's side.

"That was better than the first time," Maura confessed, meeting Jane's warm gaze with her own and smiled, resting her chest on Jane's shoulder and felt Jane's agreement before she heard it.

"Yeah—" Then Jane's stomach grumbled, interrupting her reply.

Maura laughed, patting the aforementioned stomach. "I just need to get changed, then I'll make us breakfast," then she got up, aware of Jane's gaze following her until she grabbed her clothing and went to the bathroom to change.

It was ten minutes when she found herself in the kitchen, already cooking an omelet with some spices. Jane was in the living room, watching sports, and it felt like a usual day again—except they weren't friends, they were in love with each and knew it too. And Angela was to thank for it—without her push, they probably would've went around it.

Maura had to glance at Jane, feeling as though everything had been righted. Then she recalled a surprising detail: they hadn't used a condom. Her brows furrowed in a thoughtful manner and wondered if Jane could get her pregnant since she had the proper genitalia but she wasn't on her period and felt relief—and a bit of sadness, she wouldn't mind carrying Jane's child, in fact, she was looking forward to the day that she would be.

Soon, they sat in a comfortable silence at the table, eating their omelets before Maura cleared her throat, wondering how Jane would react to what she was about to ask.

"Jane, we didn't use a condom, what if I get pregnant?"

Maura regarded the detective intently as she kept her composure. Jane looked surprised then her gaze softened wistfully and looked straight at her.

"I wouldn't mind if you were having my child, I would do my best to keep you both safe and love you even more." Maura almost swooned but regained her thoughts and mentally shook her head. She felt like a teenager at how romantic that sounded to her ears.

They finished up their omelets before Maura wondered if Jane could get her pregnant. That would be a question to ask later in the future—when they are both ready to handle such a responsibility. Then, there were familiar sounding knocks, indicating that Angela (most likely) was there to visit them again. Maura glanced at Jane, who sighed and then rolled her eyes in exasperation as she went to open the door.

"Ma, what is it now?" Jane, thankfully, wore baggy shorts and a tank top that fitted to her like a second skin as she cocked her hip out.

Angela only looked at her in innocence than smiled widely at Maura.

"Well, when is the wedding?"

Maura stifled the laughter that wanted to burst forth, and then shook her head in amusement. Of course Angela would ask that. Jane cracked a smile and walked over to Maura, sliding her arm around her waist and whispered softly: _"Play along,"_ in her ears.

"In two days," at this, Jane's mother looked panicked and horrified, "because we're planning on going to a drive-thru. You know, where there's no nagging mother following your every move." Now she looked about ready to faint before Jane erupted in laughter.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli," Angela said loudly with shock, "you almost gave me a heart attack!" Angela patted her chest, giving Jane a stern glance.

Jane went back to watch sports, pretending to listen. Maura's heart never felt so happy in this moment, because they felt like a family, already.

**_—Okay, I'm stopping there. (; Hope you liked it (and that it wasn't too horrible)._**


	8. Inkling

Thanks for the continuous support—you people are amazing, seriously. I just love writing for you people, especially when I update. And last chapter, the feedback was great. Sorry if this chapter was anti-climatic, I was hoping to quickly pass the root of the plot. :P Sorry for rushing.

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail (or as normal as a pace you can get when updating daily. :P)  
T-rating, back to fluff, I guess. XD Yes, I bet you were hoping for some smut, but hey, this story isn't PWP. I don't want to always write about them having sex, I like the tender moments between them also. Yeah, I'm a romantic. :P (I think it's going to be until the week is over and they continue on with life. I have no idea how this crime stuff works and if I did, I would have to use my imagination.) Anyways, enjoy reading or review! (^_^) Expect the next chapter to have smut? I'm still not sure. :P Maybe.

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 8:_**_ inkling_

"Yeah. I love you too, now bye ma." Jane said, reluctantly giving a hug to her mother before jumping back to see her shaking her head as she left, the door closing behind her.

An arm wrapped around her waist, Jane turned to gaze at Maura, smiling at the amusement dancing in hazel eyes. Maura snuggled against Jane, and lead to the couch where they reclined against it.

"Well, that went better than I expected," Maura said, resting her head against Jane's shoulder as their fingers twined together. The action was a balm to the lingering anxiety in her, and she sighed contently, feeling the rumble of Jane's chuckle before she heard it.

"Isn't this a strange twist of fate?" Jane asked softly, caressing the smooth skin of Maura's hand. Maura smiled, feeling a rush of euphoria at the simple action. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears as she gave Jane a quick peck to her cheek, stifling the laughter that wanted to burst out of her when Jane flushed.

Then, Maura gazed at her, combing fingers through dark locks. "I don't know, maybe it is. But I won't guess yet—ah, can you tell me where you bought it from?" She asked, wondering what kind of store would sell just plain water—or seemingly plain water…then she could feel a niggling doubt, wherever this store was, it wasn't normal.

"Yeah, "All Ye Wishes," pretty strange name if you ask me. Hell, it even looks weird from the outside looking in and there wasn't anyone at the cashier. And it's creepy as hell." Jane replied as her body tensed when she recalled the event. "Maybe we could check it out some time today maybe around 4PM and see if the owner is there and tell us how to rid of _it_."

Maura smiled weakly and nodded, even though _it_ wasn't a natural part of Jane, she wouldn't mind having it on her for a long while…then she shook her head, those were selfish thoughts. All that mattered was what Jane wanted, if she wanted to keep it or not was fine with Maura. She tilted her head up, meeting eyes that were so deep and felt her heart flutter in anticipation as their lips met in a soft kiss, one that equally loving and caressed the roots of her soul.

Jane's embrace tightened and she never felt so safe where she was right now, wishing that she could pause this tender moment and live it forever. She slowly pulled away, licking her lips to taste Jane lingering and sighed contently, curling her legs beneath her.

"Want to take a nap?" Maura asked, knowing that Jane was a bit fatigued and bit her bottom lip.

Jane nodded, rising with Maura by her side as they swayed to the bedroom before laughter erupted. A small yawn broke from her mouth, Maura wiped at her eyes when her glands produced tears and blurred her vision. Jane tugged her onto the bed, wrapping secure arms around her waist and pulled her close. Maura snuggled into Jane, loving how warm she was and that she could hear the steady heartbeat of her. It soon lulled her into a sleep, Jane followed after her with a mumble:

"I love you…"

It was nearing 4PM when they woke up, Maura stretched languidly, allowing tense muscles to relax then went to get dressed. Jane blinked, sitting up and rolled her shoulders.

"We should get ready if we're going to visit that store, I'm quite curious about it." Maura admitted, coming back from the bathroom with clean clothes. For a moment, Jane looked thoughtful then shrugged and stood up.

The medical examiner felt her throat dry, Jane was like a warrior, powerful and all-reigning, and her Italian descent, sharp features and wavy dark hairs gave her a hauntingly exotic look. Her heart pounded, and the sound was loud in her ears as Jane glanced at her, obviously noticing her ogling then smirked.

"Like something you see?" Jane asked with a teasing tone.

"You can be insufferable sometimes, you know that?" Maura sighed in mock irritation before she exited the bedroom and went to the living room, smiling when Jane laughed.

It was an hour when they arrived in the area where the store was, the streets were desolate, Maura noted. A shiver ran down her spine when Jane tugged to her out of the car, and pointed at the run-down building, the billboard above the store entrance was "All Ye Wishes". Maura wondered how it stood still; maybe it had a strong foundation because the bricks looked ready to crumble at the slightest breeze.

Jane was right; looking from the outside in was like a one-way mirror. Then they slowly entered the shop, Maura was pleasantly surprised when the sweet aroma hit her and a strange rush ran through her. She shifted uncomfortably, grabbing Jane's hand.

"Jane, when you came here, did you bother to search for the owner of this store?"

Jane shook her head, a perplexed expression on her face. "No, I didn't because I had really bad cramps and a pounding headache that got worse with each minutes I had to leave—ahh, not before taking the bottle with me but I paid for it." She muttered.

Maura nodded in understanding, not liking how bad those cramps could be and squeezed Jane's hand in hers—finding comfort in the gesture to make the anxiety in her chest disappear as she observed the store, seeing the shelves that held countless concoctions. But she could feel a shiver run down her spine and she huddled closer to Jane, who wrapped an arm around her waist. There was someone watching them, Maura could feel it in her 'gut'—mentally shaking her head at how much Jane rubbed off on her.

She whispered into Jane's ear, standing on the tip of her toes, "I think there's someone here and watching us."

Jane glanced around, seeing no one, not even a door. "How can that be? I see no door anywhere in this damn, creepy place." The space inside the store was surprisingly large, and seemed like there was one room and nothing else. But Maura had the a faint inkling that there was a secret entrance and carefully regarded—and found that there were two bottles on the ground, near a shelf. _How suspicious_, she mused and tugged Jane's hand to follow her before she crouched and pulled on the bottles.

"Whoa," Jane muttered when the shelf turned halfway opened and they slipped through, seeing a dimly lit room with books stacked upon each other and light that came from around the corner. Maura followed Jane, who crept to the edge of the wall and peeked quickly before feeling for her gun by habit. Which wasn't there, so Jane bit back the curse and tensed before shouting:

"Get up and turn around slowly!"

The person in the chair stiffened the light which emanating from a T.V was abruptly shut off. Maura's brows furrowed, sharing a look with Jane before nodding. The tall person wasn't a man they thought it would be but a woman, who smirked bemusedly at them.

"Are you the owner of this store?"

The woman nodded slowly then a twinkle was in her eyes, as though she remembered Jane. "So you were the one that ran off with that potion? If you drank it, well—expect it to be there forever, in case you wanted an answer, don't even bother with a sex change, it'll just come right back."

Maura wondered _how_ this woman knew—there was countless concoctions sitting upon rows of shelves and she certainly didn't see any labels. She could feel Jane tremble, probably shock. She pulled Jane from the room, worried and rubbed her back up and down in a rhythm. Maura had more questions in her mind but Jane was her first priority.

"Come on, Jane, let's go back home. We'll deal with it—and I don't mind, really…" Maura confessed, watching as Jane blinked rapidly then shook her head. Her expression one of lost hope and her heart ached; she wished Jane didn't have to deal with this. But maybe it was a sign—even though she wasn't one for superstitions.

The silence was unbearable, but she didn't know what to say to Jane—she wasn't the one with the male genitalia. All she could offer was comfort and love—that they were going to work this out and deal with it, it was one of those bumps that came in life and went. Maura sighed, closing the door behind her and watched Jane intently. She nodded to herself, maybe reassurance was needed.

"Jane," she cooed, wrapping her arms around a slim waist, her hands splayed over the flat field of her lover's abdomen. "I don't think you know how much I love you, how much my heart yearns for you—it goes over the boundaries of wanting you; it needs you in my life."

Jane tensed, and Maura felt a flutter in her stomach that lowered between her legs. And the weak contractions in her sex were becoming stronger as she led Jane to their bedroom, intent on showing her how much she was needed and loved.

**-O—o—o—O-**

Frankie and Tommy sat on the couch, leaned forward as they watched football on the plasma T.V, cheering when one of the quarterbacks made a touchdown. Angela sighed, shaking her head as she muttered:

"Boys will be boys,"

Then she went to her bedroom, leaving the two brothers to cheer and drink their beer.

"Hey, Tommy, I heard you went to Janie's, what for?" Frankie said, curiously as he made a quick glance to the younger brother.

"Ah, just to understand why our mother was so happy—yesterday and today." Tommy admitted, taking a gulp of beer and reclined against the couch. "So I asked them what they were doing in that bedroom of Jane's and they both clammed up. I do still wonder what they were doing."

Frankie laughed, his voice a whisper, as though telling a secret. "Probably making out, it's hard to believe they're that close and _not_ together—who knows, maybe they are dating each other, secretly."

Tommy nodded, "Maybe you're right, they were glancing at each other a lot and Maura stood in front of Jane. I'm not sure why. They have an easy connection with each other, I feel jealous of Jane that she has Maura—"

"Hush now, wouldn't want Jane to hear—she's insanely protective of Maura."

They nodded at each other in understanding and then went back to watching sports.

**_—I'm stopping here, but I am already working on the next chapter (which will most likely have smut, the continuation of Maura reassuring Jane she's loved.):D Read or review. :P Once again, sorry for rushing. I made some fluffy moments, but you have to squint to see them…. _****(^_^);**


	9. I Love You

Thanks for the reviews. :D I hope this chapter is better than the last one—well more "eventful", lol. Just with smut, so far, I lost count. :P I was writing them taking a shower *which I originally wanted for chapter 6, but whatever…it will work here, I hope! XD

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail (or as normal as a pace you can get when updating daily)—and I'm trying my best to keep up with the daily schedule of updating for you guys. It might be harder when I go back to high school. Omg, I can't believe I forgot Bass or Jo Friday (well, that'll come later)! O:  
M-rating, back to smut, I guess. XD

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 9:_**_ I love you_

"I love _you_, Jane."

"_Oh_," Jane whispered, feeling breathless at the feeling of euphoria as her heart thudded not in only in her chest—but also between her legs. She was glad for the covering that the table gave her because she could feel _it _swell with need and she wasn't sure how much Maura needed her, even with _it_. _I love you, too, Maur—so much—_"I love you so much, Maur." She kept her gaze locked with Maura's—her best friend, her _everything_ as a smile curled her lips.

There were times where she didn't like eye contact—usually when she was dealing with a difficult case to solve—because seeing her eyes would mean seeing what her soul bared for the world to see in the mirror of her eyes. But Jane didn't bother to give up eye contact as she near Maura, her hands settled on Maura's hip to press their bodies flush against each other.

"I do not need to use words because—I can't convey how much this heart loves you, Maur." Jane said softly, her hand cupping Maura's cheek. She shifted, hearing Maura gasp when she felt how much she affected Jane.

"But now, I want to take a shower—"

It was a few minutes, Jane was hesitant, was she too forward, was this too soon? Then Maura looked up at her with a sinfully lascivious smile that her male genitalia throbbed with the timing of her heartbeat. She swallowed, her mouth dry as Maura tilted her head, closed her eyes then pursed her lips, a clear indication that she wanted to kiss Jane. Her breath came in shallow pants when their lips brushed against each other, teasingly for five minutes before Jane tangled her hand in silky locks and locked their lips in a passionate kiss.

Maura attempted to pull back—but Jane followed, after her first taste of Maura—she needed more. They back up against the kitchen counter; Maura wrapped her arms around Jane, finally succumbing to the moment. Then, their passion died down to an ember as Jane caressed smooth lips with her tongue before pulling away.

"Are you still sure you want to shower? We can go into the bedroom and continue this—"

Maura shook her head, "Shower, now," her gaze half-lidded with desire. Jane sighed in relief as when Maura didn't object to the shower, she clasped onto Maura's hand with her own as they headed to the bathroom.

"Anyways—let's go."

Jane turned her back towards Maura when their clothes were stripped, feeling self-conscious of the scars that she earned throughout her life—and especially her male genitalia that bobbed up and down when it was released from its confinements. The tall brunette stepped in the small space, gasping when Maura came from behind her to hug her. She could feel hard nipples poke into her back and a coarse patch of hair rock into her ass. Jane tilted her head back to fully enjoy Maura's lips on her neck—as they suckled hard and switched to gently licking her pulse as it raced with her heart. Breathy moans escaped her—she turned on the shower, feeling warm water cascade over their bodies.

Grabbing the soap, she groped for Maura's hand, finding them on her hips and put the bar of soap in one hand as she dragged the other to cup her breast. Jane groaned as her mind was clouded with sensations that washed upon her in waves. Feeling Maura this close to her was short-circuited her self-control as fingers pinched her nipple, once then twice before landing between her legs to carefully grasp her penis with a firm grip, the other hand occupied with the soap rubbed up and down the length of her back until suds were visible.

She shuddered, Maura's hand touching her so confidently was doing wonders to her as it just laid there at the base of her genitalia. It was a few moments—Jane relaxed her tense muscles when the medical examiner starting stroking her slowly—barely touching the head nerves and ghosting over the sensitive places. Jane reached behind her to pull her girlfriend closer; her member throbbed with desire as her hips jerked. More—she wanted more.

"M-Maura, please—oh god…" Maura was gripping her more tightly this time and the pleasure was bombarding her mind at the delightful sensations. Jane could feel Maura grinding against her backside with more urgency and desperately wanted to turn around but the promising coiling that tightened in her lower abdomen was too difficult to do so.

"That's it, M-Maur—harder—" Her words were getting choked as the hand stroking her went more quicker as though sensing her impending orgasm when something slightly white leaked out of the head, Jane froze at the sight. Her mind was whirling with lust. Maura swiped a thumb over the tip, and Jane gasped with a cough, it felt absolutely electrifying when it was combined with the warm grip of Maura's hand helping her to climax.

"Oh god," her hips jerked back, trying to get away from the future collision of release but realizing she bumped into the front of Maura, who gave a moan at the stimulation. "Please, Maura—yes—"

"Don't worry, Jane….I got you."

Her male genitalia was jerking in the tight grip of Maura as it released, her stomach flipped as her body was receiving aftershocks.

Maura turned off the shower, smiling when Jane looked over her shoulder and winked. She followed her quickly to the bed then straddled her lover. She gazed down at Jane, loving the sharp features of her lover; she leaned down and kissed Jane.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" Maura whispered, feeling Jane tremble when her sex brushed over the hot and hard organ. The contractions were becoming stronger and she rocked against it, loving the faint, teasing pressure upon her clit. Simply stroking Jane wasn't enough to simmer the desire coursing through her veins as wetness flowed out like liquid lust, Maura felt the head brush against her fluttering sex and sighed in pleasure when she sat on it slowly, liking the feeling of being filled.

"Oh Jane, yes—yes!" When her lover bounced up and down, Jane could feel the pleasure to her curling toes to the top of her head. Jane groaned, being encased in hot wetness was driving her to another orgasm and then the pulls were becoming stronger around her. She whimpered, jerking her hips up.

And there was this strange tug in her lower stomach, the coil that tightened and then—finally, loosened. She moaned her release, feeling Maura following after her with four strong pulses.

They sighed, embracing each other in the comfortable silence. Jane rubbing Maura's back, "Let's go to sleep. I'm worn out."

Maura yawned, snuggling into Jane's side and closed her eyes.

**_—Well, short chapter with smut, but ahh….Next chapter will be whatever comes up in my mind for this story since I haven't planned it out. Anyways, enjoy please. Sorry for mistakes (or if it's short). (: Read or review, love you people. :D Now I gotta wonder myself if Maura will become pregnant! :P_**


	10. A certain surprise

Lol, I may have started this story but I suck at naming the chapters and especially a title. XD Unless inspiration strikes me, then it'll fit.

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail (or as normal as a pace you can get when updating daily)—and I'm trying my best to keep up with the daily schedule of updating for you guys. Now it's time to exercise my dirty mind...again. :3  
Wow, tenth chapter, never thought I would ever get this far. (^_^); I'm glad you guys like—even love—this story. (I'm spoiling you guys with another sex scene. For those who requested, the bj, I hope I did okay. :P)  
and there might be the huge fluffy moment, I just had to do it—it would've come up sooner or later...

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 10:_**_ A certain surprise_

Maura gripped the base of Jane's penis, burying her nose in the crevice where shoulder met neck, nuzzling the sensitive flesh there before she covered her lips over Jane's racing pulse and sucked—hard, then soothed the sting away with her tongue and looked at it to see the mark appearing. She stood behind Jane, who admitted to needed to urinate and she could feel the way Jane trembled while keeping the stream steady before it died out and Jane sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Maur—" Jane said, turning in her embrace and beaming a smile to Maura.

"You know I'm always happy to help, Jane." Maura said as her heart swelled with tender emotion as she cupped Jane's cheek, leaning up to deliver a kiss to soft lips while keeping her hand on the semi-erect penis. She could feel it hitting her stomach every once in a while and whimpered when Jane suckled on her tongue then bit her lip, long fingers dipping in and out of her contracting sex teasingly.

"Oh, Jane—please, I need you." Maura choked out, grinding against the taunting fingers and gripped the throbbing erection tightly, liking the way Jane groaned and briefly steadied her body from falling to the floor.

She sighed in pleasure when Jane's fingers finally filled her, stroking the quivering muscles inside and then curled in a 'come hither' motion. She cried out, gripping Jane's shoulders, leaving the hot, hard male genitalia to hit her lower abdomen. Her arms trembled as her mind went blank at the distant tell-tale of her orgasm as the contractions got stronger and closer. Then, the other hand that lay on her hip which trailed upwards and cupped her breast, messaging it gently and thumbing the hard nipple.

She chanted Jane's name, her eyes fluttering shut as her body arched and her orgasm hit her with five strong pulses. She fell limp into Jane's arm, her breath ragged and her heart racing. Maura smiled at Jane, wiping at the dark locks that stuck to Jane's cheek, and gazed into soulful eyes—loving the warmth in them. And she was on her knees before Jane could process it; Maura saw it up close, throbbing with desire. Her sex twitched as she continued to gaze at it, but Jane put her hands on her shoulders, looking down into hazel eyes and said:

"You don't have to do this—ahh, fuck." Jane groaned, helpless to stop Maura's curious ministrations as she gripped Jane's erection and tentatively licked the clear fluid from the head, putting her hands on the inside of her lover's lithe thighs. _Oh god, Ohh Jane..._

"You taste salty, but good. And—this is my first time, doing this." Maura confessed, and decided to keep her gaze locked with Jane's as she passed her tongue along the underside of the hot hardness. Then swirled her tongue around the head teasingly before taking Jane in her mouth, her sex contracted sharply and she whimpered—the mere action was arousing and she never thought she would get so much pleasure by doing this.

Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked on Jane, craving the salty taste and dug her nails into sensitive flesh and she lapped up the precum. Jane yelped in a mix of surprise and pleasure and jerked her hips forward, further burying her member into Maura's mouth. Maura pulled back, breathing heavily as her hand gripped Jane's erection and stroked her, wanting to release the tension but also wanting more of Jane's cum to taste on, her lips parted in anticipation, knowing that Jane was getting closer to falling over the edge.

It was five minutes and a few more strokes when Jane ejaculated into her mouth, mumbling Maura's name over and over and Maura could feel the trembles of aftershocks. She smiled, standing up and pecking Jane's lips quickly before sashaying out of the washroom and back to their bed.

"Oh fuck, she's going to kill me one day," Jane muttered, hurrying after Maura with renewed energy.

**-O—o—o—O-**

"Mm, up too early, Maur" Jane moaned, wrapping her arms around Maura's waist from behind, placing a kiss on Maura's neck before swaying them. "You made grilled cheese, huh." Three days have passed, even though she took a week off, she called in to take three weeks off since her vacation days had built up. She didn't know how much she had but it was close to six months' worth of vacationing or relaxing, Jane mused.

"Yes, grilled cheese, now move away. I made this for me since I had a sudden craving for it," Maura said, pulling out of Jane's embrace as she got mustard from the refrigerator. Jane went in front of Maura, confused and took the mustard out of Maura's grasp.

"Babe, why are you going to put mustard on grilled cheese, the proper condiment is ketchup." Jane commented, chuckling. But Maura grabbed the mustard and before Jane could stop, put it on the side of her grilled cheese.

"Jane, don't—I woke up sick this morning and I have a really bad headache." Maura admitted, gazing into soulful brown eyes. Jane smiled, leaning forth and gently kissed Maura's lips, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. _Sick, huh—I wonder…_Jane trailed off in thought as a flame of hope burned in her heart.

"Maura, did you puke?" Jane asked tentatively, laying a hand on Maura's forearm in comfort.

Maura's eyes widened, as she answered, "Yes. Oh—Jane, do you really think I'm—" She choked, tears welled in her eyes and she drew her arms around herself. Then her head shot up, and she said:

"I have bought a pregnancy test, you know, in case I really did—" Maura gestured to her stomach and Jane smiled, scooping Maura into her arms before settling her back down on her feet.

"If you are, god, I'm going to love you so much that it'd be impossible to tell you how much, Maur—" The tall brunette kissed Maura, gently and it was full of tenderness that it made a few tears fall from their eyes. Jane cupped Maura's cheek, wiping the tear streaks with her thumb.

"Go take that test," she winked then patted Maura's ass, chuckling when her lover squeaked then quickly walked off and she reveled in the euphoria and felt her heart swell with love for Maura. Jane sighed, wondering how she got so lucky—and she quickly looked down to her crotch, nodding in appreciation. _Thanks to you, I'm going to actually have a family with the person I love._

She went to the couch, lounging in the silence, waiting in anticipation. Jane sighed, and reclined against the cushions, closing her eyes.

It was the sound of a scream before she was pounced by a happy Maura, kissing her face and her neck. Jane smiled, knowing that it was positive. Her happiness sky rocketed and she took a deep breath, cupping Maura's face in her hands and gave a passionate kiss to her lover.

"Jane, w-we're going to be parents—we're going to h-have a family." Maura beamed a smile, hugging Jane tightly as she sobbed in joy. And all that mattered in that moment was that piece of news and nothing else—Jane felt a sense of peace.

"Maur—we're going to have to tell Ma," Jane said, looking into hazel eyes seriously.

Maura's smile falter than she looked down at Jane's crotch, "B-But what are we going to say about your penis?"

"Well, first, we're going to ease into that situation with telling Ma, then—I'll confess. She deserves to know, besides, she's the only one that knows of our relationship and no one else but she's a gossip, it's probably going to get out there sooner or later." The tall brunette embraced her lover, laying her chin on Maura's head as they swayed together—which calmed them down.

Maura nodded, "Okay, we'll tell her. I'm going to call her to come over."

Jane combed her hand through her hair, going back into a reclining position on the couch before Maura came back, a beer in hand as she gave it to Jane. One glance into hazel eyes told her that Angela was on her way. She pulled Maura into her lap, splaying her hands over the flat field of Maura's stomach, where it would soon grow to be a small baby bump and keep on growing.

Maura's fingers intertwined with her own, and her body relaxed against the front of Jane with a comfortable silence between them. Jane wondered how her mother was going to take the new of a baby and her male genitalia—all on the same day, too. The baby was certainly a gifted surprise, but she welcomed it and couldn't wait until it joined them in the world. Jane nuzzled Maura's neck, tightening her hold as a tender feeling swelled in her.

"Maur—I can't wait. I love you," Jane said, her voice husky as she gazed at Maura.

"I love you, too—so much, Jane." And then she turned around and kissed Jane again, locking their lips in a gentle kiss as their tongues touched tentatively.

A few familiar knocks disrupted their peace and Jane rolled her eyes, while Maura stood up and smoothed any wrinkles in her clothing. Jane got up, stretched then marched to the door and opened it with a pensive expression on her face.

"Ma, come right in. We've got something to tell you."

Angela's eyes lit up (hugging Jane and Maura quickly) before her mouth spewed off with guesses and then she said:

"Or did you get Maura pregnant already?" Jane's eyebrows rose and shared a glance with Maura before nodding slowly. _I got her pregnant: true, but how did Ma know? Unless she means did _I_ go with Maura and get her a sperm donor?_ Bemused, Jane sat down on the couch; Angela plopped right down beside her.

"I'm so happy for you guys! I never would've thought you would get me a grandchild already." At Jane's quick, little glare, Angela elaborated, "Well you've never shown interest in a guy and I was surprised but not all too surprised to hear you got together with Maura. I've always suspected you two were closer than two best friends. Even so early in your relationship as a couple, even if you have years' worth of friendship, you already want a baby! So, whose sperm have you borrowed?"

Jane squeezed Maura's hand, finding comfort and enough courage to tell her Ma the truth. _This is the moment to tell her—it sounds so easy but damn, it's difficult. _"Actually, Ma, it's mine."

Then Angela started laughing before it died down to a chuckle before sobering. "You're not joking, are you?" Jane nodded, looking down at her lap. "B-But how…? I've seen everything you got! Show me, then."

Jane flinched; Maura rubbed her back, whispering, "You don't have to do this, Jane—"

"No, I can't hide it forever." She stood up, shaking the hesitation away. Then she yanked down her shorts and underwear, exposing her male genitalia which hung there before she pulled them back up and sat down.

"Oh, wow...um, Jane—this is going to take a while to adjust to. Just let me think, I'll call you whenever." Angela mumbled, exiting the apartment, leaving a saddened Jane.

Maura pulled the detective into a hug, kissing her neck. "If she's your mother, she is going to love you still, even with that. It just takes time, Jane. Don't worry besides we have to schedule an ultrasound appointment soon. Now let's go take a nap."

**_—I'm stopping there, now you have a pregnant Maura—who also gave head to Jane, happy? Good, I spoiled you there. Enjoy reading or review, please. (: Sorry for the rush or any mistakes. :D_**


	11. After the Storm

Thank you all for the reviews. :D You know, you guys inspire me to write. (: So, read or review please. :D

**Note:** the rate; slow as a snail (or as normal as a pace you can get when _sometimes_ updating daily)—and I'm trying my best to keep up with the daily schedule of updating.  
Eleventh chapter, woo! —Last chapter (10), I know I rushed it, I had to…this chapter, I have to go somewhere, sorry. So don't expect a daily update. u_u

**Summary:** Jane wishes she was a boy—the repercussions of that after spending time in a weird shop and sneakily drinking a strange concoction is more than she could handle. What could happen in a week?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R&I—this is purely for entertainment, people… u_u

**Around, Up and Over**

**_Chapter 11:_**_ After the Storm_

"Don't worry, Jane. Your mother will come around," Maura said, hugging her lover tightly and pecked her temple.

Jane slowly nodded her eyes distant and mind in another world. Maura worried about the shock Jane would go through _if_…not_ when _Angela would ease Jane's insecurity of disappointing her mother or worse, disgusting her. But Maura was fairly sure it wouldn't come to that and if it did, she would protect Jane from that pain, yet as the saying went: "The ball in your court," so Angela had the choice to make or break Jane's heart. And she silently, desperately hoped it wouldn't ever come to that. She knew Angela's love was unlimited and it would take time to process it.

It wasn't everyday a girl suddenly grew male genitalia, if she was in Jane's place, she would be freaking out every day, which made her admire the detectives' calm mind at play and made her love for Jane grow stronger. She sighed, closing her eyes, Jane's ability to arouse hadn't died and she knew it wouldn't. Maura shifted, alleviating the pressure on her clit as it throbbed slowly, and felt guilty because the moment wasn't right.

"Jane, baby…please talk, something." Maura pleaded, usually the silence was comforting but now, it felt unnerving to her as though she could sense the turmoil playing in Jane's mind and heart.

Jane looked at her and she could see the fear, anxiety and other emotions swirling in them. Yet there were no words to say because brown eyes said it all: I'm afraid. And Maura exhaled all the air out, feeling as though the weight lightened, she smiled.

"I would be, too, Jane. I would be too," she murmured against Jane's neck, locking her hands together behind Jane's back. "But…don't be scared of something that hasn't happened yet. If it does, I'm here to lend you my shoulder to cry on, to be here for _you,_ Jane."

Then the door is knocked upon, startling them both. It wasn't the familiar knocks of Angela, but somewhere similar. Maura got up, patted Jane's shoulder than went to open the door.

There was Angela, who passed her and gave a hug to Jane, but before Maura stood Frankie and Tommy, who looked bemused at why they were here. She couldn't blame them or Angela, they deserved to know and Jane would see if blood was thicker than the male genitalia she had.

"I'm sorry, Jane, but I thought about it, a lot. I've realized that if I didn't accept it, it would mean I didn't accept you, but I do. And I would lose you…a-and that is the scary aspect. I don't ever want to lose you, I love you. Even though that job of yours is life-threatening, I still support you because I know you love it. I'm not alone in the worrying department; I'm sure Maura worries quite a bit and will tell you to stay out of harm's way for me. So….are you going to tell your brothers about you and Maura or do you want me to?" Angela asked, wiping the tears that escaped from Jane's eyes with her thumb.

Jane shook her head, resting her hands on her thighs. "No, I'll tell them…" And she took a deep breath, Maura stood beside Jane, smiling at Angela's consideration.

Frankie and Tommy looked at each other than shrugged. Jane cleared her throat, and announced:

"Well, we decided to finally tell you that, um… me and…Maura are in a relationship and…I have…male genitalia." Maura grabbed onto Jane's hand, prompting her to gaze into deep dark eyes that stole her breath away.

"Eh?" Frankie said curiously, his stare questioning and shocked as he picked his ear, probably wondering if he heard correctly. Tommy stood there, a frown on his face before muttering something under his breath and sighed loudly.

Maura tilted her head to regard their facial expression and saw confusion mixed with understanding and wondered why.

Frankie spoke first, his tone nonchalant, shaking off the shock. "Well, you always did have the bigger balls in the family. So it's not much a surprise to hear you actually have them." Then he looked at Tommy with worry, which was eerily silent.

The youngest brother startled, as if realizing this was reality and not a joke and stared at Jane, who squirmed under the attention.

"No wonder why you acted like such a boy," then he shrugged. "But you're still my sister. Even with the penis or not…."

Jane sat back down on the couch with Maura rubbing her back soothingly and Angela gave concerned glances at Jane. Maura gave a smile at the detective, _well, that could've gone worse._ But she is grateful that they aren't scorning her lover and wraps an arm around a slim waist, pulling Jane near her.

It was nearing evening before Angela, Tommy and Frankie left, still laughing as the door shut behind them. Maura chuckled, heading to the refrigerator and grabbed Jane a beer.

"We're all alone…" Maura trailed off, dragging a finger from Jane's sternum to her navel and felt the abdominal muscles trembling. She looked into dark eyes, smiling lasciviously and her hand went into Jane's shorts, past the waistband of her briefs and gently grabbed her, feeling it throb.

**_—Short chapter, I know but I had to get Angela's reaction out before I drove myself crazy. *pre-emptively winces*_**


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